Depression can have many underlying causes (Biological or Situational). In my opinion, Depression can be one of the most dangerous illnesses that I have seen in my 30+ years of Practice. Once again, as with most disorders, there needs to be an Individual Treatment Assessment & Plan. There is Not one Treatment that fits everyone.
When a person is suffering from Depression they can become more Isolated, Hopeless, Lethargic, Lonely, Suicidal, Violent, Feeling of Sadness, Tearfulness, Emptiness, Angry Outbursts, Irritability or Frustration, Loss of Interest & Pleasure in most activities, Sleep Disturbances, including Insomnia or Sleeping too much. For these reasons its hard to develop a support team because you might feel ashamed or just don't have the energy or motivation to help yourself.
Call Dr. Mitch so we can work together (quickly) in order to develop the cause and treatment to help you through this nightmare. Its awful that you have to experience this SUFFERING and NOT KNOW what is happening and why this is happening to you.
What Are the Causes and Symptoms of Depression?
Medically Reviewed by Smitha Bhandari, MD on August 26, 2022
3 min read
Everybody feels blue now and then, but most of the time it lasts just a few days and goes away on its own. Depression is different. It gets in the way of your daily life and makes it harder to do the things you love. You'll need treatment to get better.
Symptoms
There are a lot of signs of depression, but you may not have them all. How intense they are, and how long they last, are different from person to person.
Signs of depression can be physical.
Some of the ways you might feel are:
Sad, empty, or anxious. It will continue over time without getting better or going away.
Helpless, worthless, or guilty. You may feel bad about yourself or your life, or think a lot about losses or failures.
Hopeless. You may be pessimistic or believe that nothing good will ever happen. You may even think about suicide.
Irritable. You may get restless or more cranky than usual.
Less interest in activities. Hobbies or games you usually enjoy may not appeal to you. You may have little or no desire to eat or have sex.
Less energetic. You may feel extremely tired or think more slowly. Daily routines and tasks may seem too hard to manage.
Trouble concentrating. It could be tough to focus. Simple things like reading a newspaper or watching TV may be hard. You may have trouble remembering details. It might seem overwhelming to make a decision, whether it's big or small.
Changes in the way you sleep. You may wake up too early or have trouble falling asleep. The opposite can also happen. You may sleep much longer than usual.
Changes in appetite. You may overeat or not feel hungry. Depression often leads to weight gain or weight loss.
Aches and pains. You may have headaches, cramps, an upset stomach, or digestive problems.
Causes
Experts believe depression is due to a combination of things:
Brain structure. The way certain nerve pathways or circuits in your brain send information may not work properly. Scans show that the parts of your brain involved in mood, thinking, sleep, appetite, and behavior look different when you're depressed, but scientists aren't sure why.
Genes. Scientists are studying certain genes that may make you more likely to get it. But even if you have them, you may not get depressed. And depression can happen in some people even when they don't have that genetic makeup.
Depression can run in families, but that doesn't mean you'll develop depression just because someone you're related to has it. And you may have the condition even if no one else in your family has it.
Life events. Something disturbing or traumatic that happens to you may trigger depression. It may be the loss of someone close to you, a difficult relationship, or a stressful situation. Other things, like your finances, where you live, and whether or not you're married may also have an impact. But remember, there doesn't have to be a "reason" for your depression. Sometimes it happens without an obvious cause.
Childhood problems. People who have disturbing experiences in childhood are more likely to have depression. It may be from brain changes caused by trauma at a young age.
Other conditions. Drug or alcohol abuse, illness, long-term pain, anxiety, sleep problems, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder may also be linked to depression.
If you think you're getting depressed, don’t try to tough it out. See your doctor. Lots of treatments can help, including antidepressants and talk therapy. And make sure you get the backing you need from family, friends, and support groups.
BEST BOOKS FOR CODEPENDENCY:
Codependency No More
The New Codependency
by Melody Beatty
Your Erroneous Zones
by Dr. Wayne Dryer
Codependency Checklist:
Some Characteristics of Codependency:
Caretaking Codependents may:
● Think and feel responsible for other people for other people's feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, wellbeing, lack of well-being, and ultimate destiny.
● Feel anxiety, pity, and guilt when other people have a problem.
● Feel compelled almost forced to help that person solve the problem, such as offering unwanted advice, giving a rapid-fire series of suggestions, or fixing feelings.
● Feel angry when their help is not effective.
● Anticipate other people's needs.
● Wonder why others do not do the same for them.
● Find themselves saying yes when they mean no, doing things they do not really want to be doing, doing more than their fair share of the work, and doing things other people can do for themselves.
● Not know what they want and need or if they do, tell themselves what they want, and need is not important.
● Try to please others instead of themselves.
● Find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others, rather than injustices done to themselves.
● Feel safest when giving.
● Feel insecure and guilty when somebody gives to them.
● Feel sad because they spend their whole lives giving to other people and nobody gives to them.
● Find themselves attracted to needy people.
● Find needy people attracted to them.
● Feel bored, empty, and worthless if they do not have a crisis in their lives, a problem to solve, or someone to help.
● Abandon their routine to respond to or do something for somebody else.
● Overcommit themselves.
● Feel harried and pressured.
● Believe deep inside other people are somehow responsible for them.
● Blame others for the spot the codependents are in.
● Say other people make the codependents feel the way they do.
● Believe other people are making them crazy.
● Feel angry, victimized, unappreciated, and used.
● Find other people become impatient or angry with them for all the preceding characteristics.
Low Self-Worth Codependents might:
● Come from troubled, repressed, or dysfunctional families.
● Deny their family was troubled, repressed, or dysfunctional.
● Blame themselves for everything.
● Pick on themselves for everything, including the way they think, feel, look, act, and behave.
● Get angry, defensive, self-righteous, and indignant when others blame and criticize the codependents something codependents regularly do to themselves.
● Reject compliments or praise.
● Get depressed from a lack of compliments and praise (stroke deprivation).
● Feel different from the rest of the world.
● Think they are not quite good enough.
● Feel guilty about spending money on themselves or doing unnecessary or fun things for themselves.
● Fear rejection.
● Take things personally.
● Have been victims of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, or alcoholism.
● Feel like victims.
● Tell themselves they can't do anything right.
● Be afraid of making mistakes.
● Wonder why they have a tough time making decisions.
● Expect themselves to do everything perfectly.
● Wonder why they can't get anything done to their satisfaction.
● Have a lot of "should."
● Feel a lot of guilt.
● Feel ashamed of who they are.
● Think their lives aren't worth living.
● Try to help other people live their lives instead.
● Get artificial feelings of self-worth from helping others.
● Get strong feelings of low self-worth embarrassment, failure, etc. from other people's failures and problems.
● Wish good things would happen to them.
● Believe good things never will happen.
● Believe they don't deserve good things and happiness.
● Wish other people would like and love them.
● Believe other people couldn't possibly like and love them
● Try to prove they're good enough for other people.
● Settle for being needed. Repression, Many codependents may:
● Push their thoughts and feelings out of their awareness because of fear and guilt.
● Become afraid to let themselves be who they are
● Appear rigid and controlled. Obsession, Codependents may:
● Feel terribly anxious about problems and people.
● Worry about the silliest things.
● Think and talk a lot about other people.
● Lose sleep over problems or other people's behavior.
● Worry, wonder, wish, and wait
● Never find answers.
● Check on people.
● Try to catch people in acts of misbehavior.
● Feel unable to quit talking, thinking, and worrying about other people or problems.
● Abandon their routine because they are so upset about somebody or something.
● Focus all their energy on other people and problems.
● Wonder why they never have any energy.
● Wonder why they cannot get things done. Controlling, Many codependents may:
● Have lived through events and with people that were out of control, causing the codependents sorrow and disappointment.
● Become afraid to let other people be who they are and allow events to happen naturally.
● Do not see or deal with their fear of loss of control.
● Think they know best how things should turn out and how people should behave.
● Try to control events and people through helplessness, guilt, coercion, threats, advice giving, manipulation, or domination.
● Eventually, fail in their efforts or provoke people's anger.
● Get frustrated and angry.
● Feel controlled by events and people. Denial, Codependents tend to:
● Ignore problems or pretend they are not happening.
● Pretend circumstances are not as bad as they are. tell themselves things will be better tomorrow.
● Stay busy so they don't have to think about things.
● Get confused.
● Get depressed or sick.
● Go to doctors and get tranquilizers.
● Become workaholics.
● Spend money compulsively.
● Overeat.
● Pretend those things aren't happening, either.
● Watch problems get worse.
● Believe lies.
● Lie to themselves.
● Wonder why they feel like they are going crazy. Dependency, Many codependents may:
● Do not feel happy, content, or peaceful with themselves.
● Look for happiness outside themselves.
● Latch onto whoever or whatever they think can provide happiness.
● Feel terribly threatened by the loss of anything or person they think provides their happiness.
● Did not feel love and approval from their parents.
● Do not love themselves.
● Believe other people can't or don't love them.
● Desperately seek love and approval.
● Often seek love from people incapable of loving.
● Believe other people are never there for them.
● Equate love with pain.
● Feel they need people more than they want them.
● Try to prove they are good enough to be loved.
● Do not take time to see if other people are good for them.
● Worry whether other people love or like them.
● Do not take time to figure out if they love or like other people.
● Center their lives around other people.
● Look to relationships to provide all their good feelings
● Lose interest in their own lives when they love.
● Worry other people will leave them.
● Do not believe they can take care of themselves.
● Stay in relationships that do not work.
● Tolerate abuse to keep people loving them.
● Feel trapped in relationships.
● Leave bad relationships and form new ones that do not work either.
● Wonder if they will ever find love. Poor Communication, Codependents frequently:
● Blame
● Threaten
● Coerce.
● Beg
● Bribe.
● Advise.
● Don't say what they mean.
● Don't mean what they say.
● Don't know what they mean.
● Don't take themselves seriously.
● Think other people don't take the codependents seriously.
● Take themselves too seriously.
● Ask for what they want and need indirectly sighing, for example.
● Find it difficult to get to the point.
● Aren't sure what the point is.
● Gauge their words carefully to achieve the desired effect.
● Try to say what they think will please people.
● Try to say what they think will provoke people.
● Try to say what they hope will make people do what they want them to do.
● Eliminate the word no from their vocabulary.
● Talk too much.
● Talk about other people.
● Avoid talking about themselves, their problems, feelings, and thoughts.
● Say everything is their fault.
● Say nothing is their fault.
● Believe their opinions do not matter.
● Wait to express their opinions until they know other people's opinions.
● Lie to protect and cover-up for people they love
● Lie to protect themselves.
● Have a difficult time asserting their rights.
● Have a difficult time expressing their emotions honestly, openly, and appropriately.
● Think most of what they have to say is unimportant.
● Begin to talk in cynical, self-degrading, or hostile ways,
● Apologize for bothering people. Weak Boundaries, Codependents frequently:
● Say they will not tolerate certain behaviors from other people.
● Gradually increase their tolerance until they can tolerate and do things, they said they never would.
● Let others hurt them.
● Keep letting people hurt them.
● Wonder why they hurt so badly.
● Complain, blame, and try to control while they continue to stand there.
● Finally get angry then become totally intolerant. Lack of Trust, Codependents:
● Do not trust themselves.
● Do not trust their feelings
● Do not trust their decisions.
● Do not trust other people.
● Try to trust untrustworthy people.
● Think God has abandoned them.
● Lose faith and trust in God. Anger, Many codependents:
● Feel very scared, hurt, and angry.
● Live with people who are very scared, hurt, and angry.
● Are afraid of their own anger.
● Are frightened of other people's anger.
● Think people will go away if anger enters the picture
● Think other people make them feel angry.
● Are afraid to make other people feel anger.
● Feel controlled by other people's anger.
● Repress their angry feelings.
● Cry a lot, get depressed, overeat, undereat, get sick, do mean and nasty things to get even, act hostile, or have violent temper outbursts.
● Punish other people for making the codependents angry.
● Have been shamed for feeling angry.
● Place guilt and shame on themselves for feeling angry.
● Feel increasing amounts of anger, resentment, and bitterness.
● Feel safer with their anger than with hurt feelings.
● Wonder if they will ever not be angry. Sex Problems, Some codependents:
● Are caretakers in the bedroom
● Have sex when they do not want to.
● Have sex when they would rather be held, nurtured, and loved.
● Try to have sex when they are angry or hurt.
● Refuse to enjoy sex because they are so angry at their partner.
● Are afraid of losing control.
● Have a difficult time asking for what they need in bed.
● Withdraw emotionally from their partner.
● Feel sexual revulsion toward their partner.
● Do not talk about it.
● Force themselves to have sex, anyway.
● Reduce sex to a technical act.
● Wonder why they do not enjoy sex.
● Lose interest in sex.
● Make up reasons to abstain.
● Wish their sex partner would die, go away, or sense the codependent's feelings.
● Have strong sexual fantasies about other people.
● Consider or have an extramarital affair. Miscellaneous, Codependents tend to:
● Be extremely responsible.
● Be extremely irresponsible.
● Become martyrs, sacrificing their happiness and that of others for causes that do not require sacrifice.
● Find it difficult to feel close to people.
● Find it difficult to have fun and be spontaneous.
● Have an overall passive response to codependency crying, hurt, helplessness.
● Have an overall aggressive response to codependency violence, anger, dominance.
● Combine passive and aggressive responses.
● Vacillate in decisions and emotions.
● Laugh when they feel like crying.
● Stay loyal to their compulsions and people even when it hurts.
● Be ashamed about family, personal, or relationship problems.
● Be confused about the nature of the problem.
● Cover up, lie, and protect the problem.
● Not seek help because they tell themselves the problem isn't bad enough, or they aren't important enough.
● Wonder why the problem doesn't go away. Progressive In the later stages of codependency, codependents may:
● Feel lethargic.
● Feel depressed.
● Become withdrawn and isolated.
● Experience a complete loss of daily routine and structure.
● Abuse or neglect their children and other responsibilities.
● Feel hopeless.
● Begin to plan their escape from a relationship they feel trapped in.
● Think about suicide.
● Become violent.
● Become seriously emotionally, mentally, or physically ill. experience an eating disorder (over or undereating).
● Become addicted to alcohol and other drugs.